


Twin Piques

by Colonel_Cooper



Category: Twin Peaks
Genre: Alternate Canon, Double Drabble, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-14
Updated: 2012-04-14
Packaged: 2017-11-03 15:55:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/383226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colonel_Cooper/pseuds/Colonel_Cooper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagine if David Lynch had been told by the ABC executives to wrap up the Laura Palmer storyline, and he responded, in a fit of pique, by doing it in 60 seconds flat. Not only that but he also wraps up the Audrey/Cooper storyline at the same time - therefore "Twin Piques."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Twin Piques

“Can I speak to her Doc?”

“Make it brief, Agent Cooper.”

“Of course. Ronette, I hear you’ve been having nightmares. What is it you remember?”

“Well, Pam walks into the bathroom – and Bobby’s having a fucking shower! Can you believe it? They expected us to believe that the previous season was a dream, and that Bobby wasn’t dead. I’ve seen some lame-ass storylines in my time, but that took the biscuit.”

“Wait until we get to Evelyn Marsh and Pine Weasels.”

“What?”

“Never mind. I’m not really interested in what you remember about ‘Dallas’ – I’m more concerned about ‘Twin Peaks’ right now.”

Oh right, let’s see. Well Laura Palmer was murdered by her father, every one in town was screwing someone else, and this quirky F.B.I. agent gets possessed…”

“Wait up – Leland killed his own daughter?”

“Of course! Say, you look like that F.B.I. agent.”

“I am an F.B.I. agent.”

“Wow, what a coincidence.”

“It sure is. Excuse me – Harry, I need a warrant for the arrest of Leland Palmer.”

“Sure thing, Coop.”

“Aces – talking of screwing, I’m off to One-Eyed Jack’s. Blackie’s got a new girl for me, goes by the name of Hester - or is it Prudence?”


End file.
